It feels the frequency of my post appear to get further and further apart. So updates… Work has been work, I went through this period where I’ve been feeling under appreciated there, like I’ve been sort of invisible, but as time has carried on I have seen that I have my place there like everyone else. It’s bleak to know that I’m looking for a place to fit in at work, makes me wonder how high a standard I hold myself to anymore. I feel like I’m going through this period of growth, things coming around full circle. I’ve been reading deeply this book on astrology, and I have Jupiter in Leo, which I hear is a rare thing, and in august Jupiter is in Leo, conceding with the dates Psychic Kevin gave me for my first reading of how I then I will fall in love, the time each year I’ve been chasing. I feel that in a week or so some I will finally receive my just rewards. I take care of my family, I take care of my friends. I’m nice to everybody, I live everyday doing the best I can. I believe I’m a good person. Last night I got some horrible news, about Madison, she was telling me that she went to the doctor and something may be wrong, she wouldn’t tell me what, but he demeanor drastically changed, and that scared me. I told her I wouldn’t leave her, but she is with someone else. Its not meant as an effort to win her back, After everything, all the fighting, all the memories, I still love her, and that is the true tragedy is that I can’t move on, because intuition, my damn romantic idealism is keeping me tied to her, and I’ve accepted she may never love me, but I can’t stop loving her. It’s not in me. Maybe it’s this tie with fate, maybe this is all the cosmos yelling at me for something I did in a past life. I’m not sure where my life is heading by I can feel it in my soul, that soon, it’s going to be changed, hopefully for the better.
